Feel shy on a first date? Read our tips
When it comes to online dating, the main stumbling block is a transition from a ‘virtual’ communication to the ‘live’ chat. The concerns and fears are usually faced by both sides; though, there is nothing to be afraid of. Generally, the stage of Internet dating should be minimized to the maximum.
If you have been long corresponding with a Russian lady, and even used a video chat, and you like her, the first meeting becomes even more complicated. You know, a girl’s importance in your eyes has increased; you develop certain expectations and now fear of doing something wrong, or destroy the magic.
Courteous treatment, rules of etiquette, fashion and slang - this coded information is designed to facilitate communication with strange or unfamiliar people.
People learned to pretend the person is a sort of familiar to them. For this, our subconscious reveals the characteristics of a stranger, then comparing them with the existing directory in our head.
Avoid all sorts of jaded words. Psychologists emphasize the importance of first impression and the ‘first twelve seconds’ rule. If you are not impressed, apparently, your subconscious carefully ‘read’ an unknown girl of Russia, not offering good prospects for your mutual future. On the other hand, the probability of error is also embedded in our psyche; so remember that you go on a date with the ‘right to make a mistake.
Practical tips on how to overcome shyness on a first date
Do not pretend being cocksy. Mentally, this is read and interpreted as your weakness.
Do not make your status a topic of conversation. We know people are more willing to talk about themselves than about others. And what certainly should not be done is going deep into analyzing of the date itself.
Another mistake to avoid is turning the meeting into an interview, besetting a Russian lady with questions. People generally do not like answering questions. Especially those personal ones.
Questions are to have a certain goal: find a common topic of conversation. Behave as if you’ve been long familiar with a girl; try using the language and images for comparison that are familiar to her. It is also useful asking one or two questions to clarify expectations. They allow you finding the general area of interests, breaking the ice in communication, creating a pleasant and friendly atmosphere.
Creating a pleasant environment and a sense of ‘recognition’ is what you should aim for on a first date. And remember: postponing a meeting at a later date does not help, but most likely becomes an additional obstacle.